Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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