I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize