i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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