his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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