she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i came on her dog
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
they're like a gay fantastic four
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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