she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize