You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize