Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
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My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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