Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
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