I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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