just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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