When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize