Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize