I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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