the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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