so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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