I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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