My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize