Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize