youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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