Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize