I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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