Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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