Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize