I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize