my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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