she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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