Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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