I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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