I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
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I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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