dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize