Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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