the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize