I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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