Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize