Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize