but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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