he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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