I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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