No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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