so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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