I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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