I looked at my own cervix.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize