I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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