shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
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I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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