her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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