STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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