He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
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The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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