covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Drake has all the answers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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