I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize