Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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